Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Should I have taken it up at first?

Was it a wise choice for me to volunteer myself to be the ticketing officer for Montage?
I never foresee myself to end up so unhappy doing it.
I getting tired of this.
Very tried.
No one has been able to understand my feelings.
No one has been able to understand my thoughts.
Why can't most of the things flow as I wanted them to be?

I feel that I'm a shit worker doing ticketing,
Selling tickets to don't know what kind of event.
I don't feel like a ticketing officer.
I don't feel part of Montage.

I'm not a wonder woman.
I don't have magical powers.
I cannot create miracles.
Things don't come out with a snap of my fingers.

You say that I'm given the space to have my plans running.
Since when was I given the chance to sit down and discuss about my plans?
You tell me that the committee wants to do this this this for ticketing,
I said NO.
You never asked for my opinion,
And threw at me the whole lot why it's better to follow what the committee wants.
What kind of ticketing officer does the committee treat me as?

I was not asked to attend meetings.
I'm fine with that.
But the least could be done was to update me on any progress I needed to take note of.
Not the other way round.
I don't know what was discussed during meetings,
I don't know how far the progress has gone.
I'm very sure that ticketing was never on the agenda list.
Because no one borders to ask me to update them.

I took the initiative to post the progress occassionally.
No one showed concerned about it.
And people can still come and ask me about the progress after that.
What does my post mean to the committee.
I'm not posting for fun.
Nor to boast how much work I've done.

I had to verbally asked how many helpers they got for Montage.
They told me 3.
What can you do with 3 helpers?
There are more models than helpers.
Luckily I asked.

I told one of the committee members that I intend to resign from my post of a Ticketing Officer.
And I thought it could just be a one-one sharing of how I felt.
Eventually I managed to tell myself to carry on for Montage and not for the committee.

What exactly is my role in Montage?
I don't know.
The view is so hazy...

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